


Into the dark

by the_girl_with_all_the_fandoms



Series: I will follow you into the dark [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 00:41:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1100430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_girl_with_all_the_fandoms/pseuds/the_girl_with_all_the_fandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I had never watched Supernatural when I wrote this so characterisation might be a bit off. Also 'Death' is not the character death, same with Lucifer and God etc. Just a short drabble inspired by the Death Cab for Cutie song 'I Will Follow You Into The Dark'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Into the dark

You die.

You look around. There is only darkness. No. Not darkness. Nothingness. It is so black you cannot even see that it is black. 

You have no feeling, no taste, smell, sight, or sounds. There is nothing. You get a gut feeling, a moment of pleasure from feeling even the slightest hint of sensation, someone is there. Someone is here with you. You believe you are twisting your body but have no way of actually knowing. There is nothing. 

You think your mouth opens, think words pour from your lips, but you can never be sure. There is no sound, you can’t even feel your own skin.

You see a light and suddenly feeling returns, you run so fast towards the light but it never comes closer.

“I will not give up”

You shout the words but they come out as a whisper.

“I will not give up!” 

The words are louder, each time you repeat them they sound louder. Suddenly you tumble out of the darkness and into a pool of light. It feels like you have spent years running to get there.

Someone appears, they are naked but seem to have no gender. Their face is both effeminate and masculine, a soft but chiselled jaw and round, sharp eyes. 

“Where am I? Who are you?” The questions boom in your ears, unused to sound it hurts. You must have spent hundreds of years in that dark, you think to yourself.

“This I heaven. I am God.” The person speaks, there is a sadness in their eyes. “Please let me in! How long have I been out here? It feels like forever…” Exhaustion overcomes your body. “Unfortunately we cannot. There is no room. You are unable to enter.” “Please! PLEASE! DON’T SEND ME BACK OUT THERE.” “Come now, you were only out there for a few seconds.” “No, no. You are wrong. It was years!” A feeling of fear overwhelms you and you sink. “Years maybe, but when you have forever, years become seconds.”

The person turns to walk away. The light begins to fade. Suddenly you hear their voice again.

“Do not fear. Hell may still accept you if you are willing.”

The darkness comes again. No feeling. No emotion. Just blank nothingness. It gets no easier. You do not learn to deal with it. Every moment is just as bad as the last one. 

You have no way of knowing how long you have spent here. Unable to count seconds you cannot even estimate. You can only stand there, encompassed in darkness.

Alone. 

The light returns. Heaven have decided to accept you. You run, this time you know you will get there. It is still no easier. The light does not get closer, not until you once again tumble into the pool. There is a different person.

“God?” You question, maybe they have the ability to change themselves. “No. I am the devil. Though I dislike that name. Call me Lucifer, or at least Satan.” “Please let me in.” “You have been too good, there is too much purity in your soul…” Satans lip curls upwards and an evil glint is reflected in his eyes. “I will do anything.” “Anything? Well, spend 10,000 years in the blackness and you can enter.” “I will. I will do that.” “You understand how long that is? With nothing.” “It cannot be that long, how long was I there for just then?” “Maybe 10 years, pushing 20 at tops.” “NO! I WAS THERE FOR THOUSANDS. GOD SAID I WAS THERE FOR THOUSANDS!”

You feel a tear roll down your face, you are doubtful if you can withstand the darkness for that long again. “God lies, don’t you already know that?” “I will do it anyway.” “Good.”

This time the light does not fade slowly. It disappears instantly. And you are dropped into the darkness, entirely alone. With nothing once more. Still you do not adjust.

It never gets easier. You still feel the brief moment of feeling when your gut tells you there is someone near. But you never actually feel them. Possibly there are millions of you in the darkness, all unable to see each other, unable to feel each other. 

You think you might be sad but you cannot tell. All you feel is a numb, dull fear. Your mind never switches off. You are always awake, always thinking. Thinking about everything. 

Maybe you know that answers to all questions in the universe.

Maybe you know nothing and everything is just you.

Maybe this isn’t real.

Maybe this is all you know.

There is no chance for a reprieve. You do not stop. It just goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on, black dark numbness.

Nothing. Alone. Fear. Doubt. Alone. Black. Dark. Nothing. (Dean). A tugging sensation. Black. Dark. Nothing. Alone. Fear. Black. Alone. Fear. Dark. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Sensation. Black. Fear. Dark. Alone. Nothing. DEAN. Suddenly you are plunged into light.

“THANK YOU!” You feel yourself sink. Every emotion you have ever felt washes over you. You believe you might die. There is everything around you.

“Come on in, Castiel. Welcome.”

The pain is excruciating, but at least there is feeling. Compared to the darkness it is the best feeling. You see people happy, people laughing, people not in pain. 

“They did my duty on Earth, they are welcomed here. They are loved here.” Satan appears in front of you just as you begin to question it.

There is a moment of painlessness, a moment for you to catch your breath. All around you are faces contorted into almost impossible positions. You cannot see what is happening to them. There is no fire, no whipping, no burning, nothing visible. But you know their pain. That same pain returns and the faces disappear, only the happy ones stay. A segment of hope, a chance you too will be happy one day.

Suddenly the pain stops and you are back in the pool of white, Satan is there. He waits, watching you as your entire body crumbles and mends itself. This is almost as painful as hell itself. Then suddenly it’s over. You feel pure, you feel happy.

“Get up Castiel. There is someone here for you.”

You open your eyes and there he is. Dean. Naked, alone, and scared. Unable to see you. Alone in the darkness. Your heart bursts. You would rather be back in hell. 

Suddenly you see him turn and run. You know what he can see. You know that feeling. He is running to you. You cannot move but you can see him. You watch as he runs. It feels like forever. You watch and watch. Then he is there. He is in your arms. You are together at last. You can feel tears on your face, you don’t know whether they are yours or his.

“Castiel.” He whispers into your ear.

Suddenly you are torn apart. You can just about touch each other, but cannot feel it.

It is horrible.

A shimmering veil separates you, but you can still see each other. 

It reminds you of the darkness.

As soon as that thought pops into your head darkness descends and Dean disappears into the black. You can still feel slightly, the connection is still there, but you are alone. There is still nothing. Suddenly you are transported back to hell. Being torn from Dean makes the pain doubly worse. Then you are back in the pool of light, separated from Dean with the veil, but you can sense each other. 

“Castiel, you have an option. There is no room for Dean in Hell anymore, nor in Heaven. Both of us are saying no. You are now responsible for the fates of yourself and Dean. Option number one, you can return to Hell and leave Dean in the darkness. Possibly there will be a time when Dean can join us here, possibly not."

You open your mouth to speak but Satan continues.

“Option number two, you can allow Dean your place in Hell and you can wander the darkness for eternity. This means even if we choose to allow more people entry, you still will be unable. Or option three. I can force the two of you into the darkness, bound together by the veil, but as I just showed you, you would not be able to see, feel, hear, touch or have any other sensation than the veil connection.”

“Why me? Why do I have to choose?”

“Because you are the Saviour. The Betrayer. The Angel.”

“I gave all that up…I gave it all up for Dean!”

Lucifer says nothing, he simply looks at you and waits.

You look at Dean and the moment your eyes meet you know your answer.

“Darkness, put us both out there.” “NO! CAS! DON’T. LET ME GO. I’LL BE FINE.” You watch as Deans face contorts, screaming in pain, but the veil muffles it to a whisper in your ears. Instead of looking at Lucifer to confirm your choice you look at Dean. “I’ll follow you into the dark.”

Everything turns black. There is nothing. You are completely alone. Satan has broken his promise. You can feel nothing, number than you were before. Though you can feel a sensation of souls around you, it is blank. The pain of almost having Dean is overwhelming you, you feel absolute despair. 

Then you realise, you are feeling.

This never happened before.

You can feel. 

You reach out into the darkness, though you cannot physically do it, you believe in your heart that you are reaching. 

There is the veil.

You can feel it.

Dean.


End file.
